Bekloppt Chronicles Part IV- The Cousin From The Other Side
by Fro Ninja
Summary: Life can only be sweeter for Hans right? Wrong! After his absent father pays him a surprise visit, he uses Hans's phone to send him into another dimension with no means of returning. In order to get the phone back, Sera and the girls journey to the Xth Palace, which connects all existing dimensions. Meanwhile in Hawaii with two unlikely allies, Hans begins his journey back home.
1. Chapter 1

**Fro Ninja; Hello everybody! The Fro Ninja here letting off some steam as usual with another entry in the epic Tale of Hans and his hunt, for what else? Booty ladies and gentlemen. Seeing as how a lot of people have been favoriting this series, I've decided to drop a new a part at least once a month, so be prepared for that. Also, as a treat, I'll be putting up a poll soon to ask you beautiful people what world you think Hans might visit next! And if you're lucky, he just might visit it! But anyway, I've spoken long enough, let's get right into it! Oh yeah, and if you haven't read the previous parts, you might want to do that by checking them out via my profile page**

 **Han's Perspective**

 **Somewhere near in Greenland**

 **'s Lair**

 **15 minutes until closing**

 _ **Just HOW do I get myself into these situations?**_

Those were probably one of the many thousands of thoughts swimming through my head as I'm busy dodging lasers, gunshots, and plasma blasts all at the same time. One of the rounds barely whizzed past my head as I duck under a research table to catch my breath in a fetal position. In that same moment, the table gets flipped over and tossed into the wall. I look up at nicely built figure with a green and black jumpsuit staring me down with the "I'm gonna fucking kill you and stuff your corpse with rotten bananas" eyes. That's Sheego. We have a...previous relationship, which is turning out to be the bane of my existence at the moment. I quickly charge up and dash away as fast as me feet could take me. Not surprisingly, Sheego took after me full speed and began to fire off her plasma shots at my head. I quickly jump up in my running path to dodge one heading right under my feet, and then duck my head down to avoid one that grazzed my neck. The next one was heading straight toward my body. I curved my body in a clockwise rotation, barely missing the blast as it slightly carved a path in my shirt and my chest from the flying sparks it gave off.

I managed to recover from my free dodging session on both feet and began to run even faster.

"The next one is going towards your spleen sweetums!" I take a left turn from the labortatory that soon lead me down what seemed to be an endless white hallway. I began to dash down it, whizzing past all of the doors on both of my sides. I tried to open every single one that came my way, but to my amazement, they were all locked. I reached one door that read atrium. I desperately attempted to turn the knob, only to hear the rattling noises of another locked door.

"Seriously?! Who the hell has locked doors inside their own lair?!" I took a step back from where I was at and activated the switch on my watch to call up my status screen. "Molly! I need to hack into Draken's computer mainframe and disengage the security lock for the atrium room. This is an emergency!"

"Working on it baby. It'll just be a few seconds. Anything else I can do for you?"

"I need you to find and lock on the relay signal of the portal! Draken moved the damn thing, and I can't make high or low of this fucking place! Also did I mention that a crazy chick with glowing hands is trying to kill me?!"

"You didn't mention that...Just another day at the office huh? Okay! Doors open."

As soon as she said those words, Sheego came around the corner just as the door opened.

"Found you!" Without a seconds notice, I rushed inside and quickly took cover behind one giant plants that had been growing out into the skyline. I took out Ameilia's laser pistol, and set it to stun. I then heard the door crash open. I held my breath in as the clacking footsteps of her leather boots drew even nearer."Come on Hans baby! Were you just gonna leave without saying goodbye?! Think about all we've been through over the past hour!"

"I'm trying not to, thank you very much!"

"Awww...Did it hurt that much? I tried ease up on the treatment as much as I could. I guess it doesn't work on sissy boys!" This lady is throwing shards right now, and it is starting to get me agitated beyond belief. I then started to fiddle with my watch to access the mainframe of the lair.

"Listen Sheego honey! Maybe we can talk about this! Relay special conversations! Hopefully ones that don't involve castrations as you so eloquently put beforehand!"

"And where would the fun in that be? You just wouldn't listen if I didn't suggest such a remarkable option to garner your attention, now would you?!"

"Oh trust me when I say, I'm all ears now!" I then pressed the switch on my watch, activating a special protocol the lair had and setting it on overdrive. Before you knew it, all of the lights began to flicker on and off, and the nearby sentry bots set on standby in the atrium began to go haywire. The automatic water system went off and began to wet everything in sight, including Sheego. I then popped out of cover to come face to face with her, before popping on rubber rain boots on my feet.

"Oooo. Creating your own laser light show huh? I'd be impressed if it actually meant something."

"Don't worry Sheego." I then took out the laser pistol, and removed its inhibitor matrix, creating a makeshift electric grenade."I think you'll find my point quite...shocking." She quickly realized what I was up to, and jumped up to higher ground as I slammed the pistol down onto the wet ground, creating a massive electrical field around the walkway of the atrium. I then took control of the sentry bots and had them step out into the center part of the room, where they began to get drenched and shocked by the field, causing their systems to short circuit. I then sent the bots flying towards Sheego as she was sitting in the trees away from the action. One by one, they began to explode as I sent them towards her, and she dodged each one with ease while hopping from branch to then grabbed one by its head an threw it back at me. I quickly vaulted out of the way to avoid getting hit, which I then saw her charging towards me, baring her glowing hands. Without thinking, I grabbed her by her hands, which the plasma began to burn into my skin. Baring the absolute pain, I tossed her over my head with a judo leg flip.

She recovered from the attack, sliding on the heels of her boots she came to a complete stop in her trail with sparks flying on the path from her feet. She came back towards me with a vengence with her glowing hands that nearly put a burn mark in my skull. I then reached out and grabbed her arm and swung her around me. It fell short as she used the momentum from my throw to swing herself around with her left leg headed straight towards my face. I engaged it head on and took the damage from the hit. My hand still in her grasp, I put an extra amount of force on the hold on her arm and brought her forward into an awaiting shoulder bump to her stomach and then pressed her into the ground. I managed to pin her for about a few seconds, until she managed to slip free of my hold, and put me in an armbar. If there was one thing I learned about Sheego in the past half hour, it's that she's flexable as hell.

With all of the strength remaining in my arm, I begin to lift it up with her on it, despite the pain I was still able to gain some leverage in the struggle. I managed to lift her up with what strength I could summon and stood up at my feet. She started to bend it in the opposite direction, which made my nerves spike up at the pain I was experiencing.

"What's the matter baby? Am I too much for you?" She began to taunt me as she activated her glowing hands while still grasping my arm, and the amount of hurt escalated from from a 10 to a 25. The residue from the glowing hands started to leave marks along my arm as her hands clawed deeper into my skin bypassing the layers of my shirt."You better pull out before it's too late."

I then took a deep breath and smiled. "You must have not heard about my pull out game then. Molly! Now!" I then activated a voice recognition program that I placed on Molly to activate whenever I was in trouble from anything. Before I knew it, a wrapping ring of electrical currents formed around my arm, shocking Sheego in the process. Though it wasn't enough to get her off guard completely, she retreated from the heat of the conflict."What's wrong Sheego darlin? Your thrusting game is a tad weak for my taste!"

She put on a fierce grin while clawing the ground beneath her. So far, I'm getting her to not take me for granted. I dare for something worse to happen.

"Hans sweetie! We have trouble!" Molly sounded off on my watch.

"In the middle of something Molly! The risque talk can wait!"

"It...'s...n...ot...hat...!I...ing...!" Molly's voice began to break up over the speaker, and before I knew it, I could hear nothing but static coming from the screen.

"Molly! Molly! What's going on! Answer me baby!" I yelled at the contents of my watch, only to be responded with silence. A few seconds later, I heard a sound click on the screen, and I could hear a young voice on the other end clearing his throat.

"Testing...one, two, three. Can you hear me?"

"Who is this?! What did you do to Molly?!"

"Molly? Don't worry. I just temporarily put a freeze on her functions. She's gonna be offline for while. But don't worry, you got me keeping you company now."

"Keep ME company?! Bitch, if you don't put Molly back on and get off my system, I will hack the shit out of you. Both physically and electronically!"

Pretty soon, I found myself arguing with the mysterious voice on my fancy watch. The exchange would be rather awkward to watch for some, I'd have to say.

"Hey! What the hell is going on over there?!" Sheego yelled out at me. I was barely able to hear her though. I simply responded by holding my finger at her.

"Sorry Sheego baby. Be with you in a moment. I'm dealing with an impersonal asshole right now." Then out of nowhere, the ceiling glass ended up shattering in. I quickly looked up to see a rather familiar figure with flowing ginger hair rappel down from the top of one of the trees all the way to the ground. Her black shirt and cargo pants brought back many images back into my head.

"That 'impersonal asshole', just happens to be my friend."

I sighed deeply and facepalmed myself.

"Lord have mercy. Why are YOU here? I gotta enough shit on my hands dealing with miss glowy hands, plus five other problems I'm not even gonna go into right now."

"That's tragic Hans. It really is, but I'm afraid dimension hopping is not justafiable in any situation."

"It is in Texas. Everything happens in fucking Texas."

"We'll see if the FBI agrees with that statement of yours."

Kim Possible ladies and gentlemen. World renowned teenage spy and basically a girl scout. The thought of her appearing hadn't really crossed my mind until now seeing as how I've been running for my life trying to survive for the past thirty minutes from miss glowy hands over here.

"Back off Kimmy, this one is **mine** for the taking. I suggest you head back home and fix up your doll collection Princess!"

"At least one of us fits that label Sheego!"

While the two so called prinny prins were arguing, I took my chance to carefully sneak away from the site undected. I managed to slip past the two and reach the door. My hand reached out to touch the knob.

"Almost...there..."

"KP! HE"S TRYING TO GET AWAY!"

Dammit! I know that ear stabbing voice anywhere. I quickly looked up at the skyline to find a skinny freckled blonde kid clumsily rappelling down from the ceiling window, bumping and crashing into several things in his descent, until he finally came crashing down in a pile of fertilizer. A fate I seriously do not envy.

"Awww dammit Kim. You brought the nacho kid too?! You really do hate me if you're going to have this guy put me through one of his 'I love nachos' speeches. I'll honestly death or, whatever you have in store for me instead!"

Kim began to walk over to me and as she walked, a blue light began to spark from her body, and soon, a white stretchy and slimy like material began to cover her whole body from head to toe. If memory serves, that's her special suit that she only whips out on special occasions, or when she wants to beat the ever loving shit out of something that crossed the line. I'm guessing this situation is one of them.

"Trust me Hans. After what you did to me, you deserve a fate far worse than death."

Sheego's hands began to glow and started to walk over towards me.

"That goes double for me Hans sweetie. We have SO much time to make up for last time."

They both began to come my way with creepy ass smiles on their faces. But not that kind that I'm attracted to. They're definitely out for blood after what happened last time. As for what that is...I'll leave it up to your imagination.

"Sorry to say girls, but I'm afraid this show is over, and I've got to exit stage right!" I quickly opened the door and proceeded out of the atrium.

"GET BACK HERE!" I heard both of them scream simulteanously as I started to make my way down the hallway. No doubt they were chasing me, and were soon to catch up to me. I quickly pulled out my watch and began to tinker around the security block that mama's boy Wade placed on Molly. While running for my life, I was bypassing network walls like the hoverboard level of Battletoads, too easy. I don't know why Wade gets so much props as a hacker anyway, when I was his age, I had already hacked into the FBI's archival system twice. The stuff that you could learn from those files makes A Peoples History of America look like a broadway play in comparison.

Within seconds, I had bypassed his security countermeasure, and restablished my connection with Molly.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?!" Wade called out to me on the screen as it began to fade out in static.

"Sorry Wade. But there's only gonna be one person that's allowed on my wrist and talk smack to me."I completely shut down his connection to my watch, and got back the image of Molly on it."Molly! Are you alright?! He didn't hurt you did he?"

"I'm fine you handsome devil you. I'm only fitted for you and you alone after all."

A glorious feeling sprang up from my veins.

"Oooo, if you weren't a progammable a.i., I would tickle you until you called me Sally!" As I was running, I felt something whizz past me, and hit one of the walls in my direction, and the wall began to crisp in ash and smoke. Oh crap.

"You know Hans, if you weren't any good at running, I could swear you're slowing down on purpose!"

"Believe me, that's the last thing I want from you two!"

"Immediate rejection? He must be talking about you!" Kim yelled out.

"Believe me Teen idol, you wouldn't know what to do with it,even if you had it like me!"

"Oh for craps sake. Molly! How long before the portal closes?!"

Molly quickly scanned on her map.

"About 3 minutes sweetie, about 25 meters in your general direction."

I crept on a smile. "Plenty of time." As soon as I reached the main laboratory, I banked on a sharp turn in my tracks to face my fatal attractors. Like it or not, this was gonna have to be somethign I would have to handle straight up like a man. I took one of the electrical core shock cables from the power supply that was managing the currents of the place, and began to use it as a makeshift bo staff. I twirled and spinned it around to get a feel for the weight and length. Felt just about right. "Well ladies. Care for some three minutes in heaven with yours truly? Won't cost you a dime."

In that moment, both Kim and Sheego looked at each other and nodded in agreement.

"Alright Hans, we'll play your little game. Just don't expect us to go easy on you!" Kim put up her dukes while the discharge from her suit sparked.

"Yep. There are a few **fatal** consequences should you lose this game!" Sheego put up her stance as well, and readied her glowy hands.

I was set for the worst threesome of my entire goddamn life. Good thing I had protection.

 **Third person perspective**

Kim and Sheego charged in a zig zag formation toward Hans, which led him to dart his eyes in both directions. Eventually, Sheego struck first with a left chop aiming for his face, which was deflected by his staff, and then two more came in from both sides, which were both deflected. Kim then came in with a high kick also aiming for Hans face. He deftly dogded it by ducking down, but Kim came spinning back into second kick, this time lower by grinding her heels against her momentum. Hans was barely able to dodge it, and so felt a slight knick her heel brush past his cheek, which in turn threw off his rhythm. Feeling the effect of it, he tried to retreat to a safer position by vaulting backwards.

"Going somewhere?!" Sheego denied the retreat by grabbing his right foot as he just started to jump back, and slammed into the ground. Hans felt his body shift as the impact brought him down hard and back up again.

"shit..." 'This wasn't good' Hans thought. A milliseconds into the impact, and he would need to catch his breath, which is more milliseconds going toward the two's favor. He then did the only alternative. He held his breath in for as long as he could while using his staff as a stand to quickly and swiftly lift himself up along the path. As soon as he reached the top, he lunged his body forward and with it his hands carried the staff into a forward attack for the incoming Kim. He then brought his staff down for a hard slam which had barely grazed Kim's left shoulder as she slid around him, leaving the staff to hit the ground with a strong impact,creating a fairly deep crater in its wake. Sheego and Kim positioned themselves on opposite sides, completely blocking his flanks, but Hans wasn't finished yet. He immediately put back up his guard and got ready to receive their pincer attack. Sheego charged in first, giving out a flurry of attacks mixed with jabs and side kicks aiming to Han's lower region in order to put a hamper on his evading steps, which he was able to avoid a good few seconds, before Kim came in with a sucker punch to Han's rib cage. He grunted in pain, but the attacks gave no pause. She followed by a low sweep kick that knocked him back down on the ground, or so she thought. In that moment, Han used the momentum from his fall, hop back up on his feet, and twirled around his staff in every direction. Kim and Sheego were barely able to get their guards up in time to block the impact, which had sent them both sliding away from him.

"Ukemi, huh? Kid knows hisstuff." Sheego grinned.

"This is no time for compliments! Wait! Look out!" Without a second thought, he let loose a few flash grenades from his back waist pouch, and detonated them immediately upon touching the ground."You might wanna cover your eyes!" Kim yelled out, before covering her eyes from the flash.

"I've got two eyes Kimmy!" Sheego responded back before doing the same.

In that moment, a very bright light shined out which had blinded everyone in the room, save for one individual. Hans had made a run for it by hiding behind a work table, and took a moment to catch his breath after about a minute of holding it in.

"PAHHHH! Fuck! Envisioning yourself swimming, REALLY does not work for that kind of thing!" As he tried to catch his breath however, Han felt another presence, rumbling from down below though it hadn't revealed itself yet. The ground began to vibrate violently, and all of the lab utensils shook off the desk he was hiding behind and crashed onto the ground, which had alerted Kim and Sheego to his location as soon as they heard it."Shit! Not good, not good, not good!" Hans had quickly exited from his cover, and rolled out into the open. Kim came charging into him with numerous vaults and handsprings, as per to her cheerleading routine, only this time ending it with an axe kick instead of a flip. Her heel ended up being blocked by Han's staff, which had then broke into two as soon as it touched it, leaving him with only two smaller versions of his staff. Kim stared him down as he slowly began to back away on his knees. He then attempted to fight back with the two things that he had, and so he had tried to swing it across Kim's face, but Sheego had caught his weapons by her hands and disintergrated them to mere ash. Before he knew it, Hans had literally been backed up into a wall with both the femme fatales staring him down, and their weapons at the ready. "Hahaha...Ladies! Um...let's talk about this!" At the brink of it all.

"You want to talk?" Kim questioned him.

"He wants to talk." Sheego reiterated the request.

"Now...I know we've had our...disagreements in the past. But let's put that all behind us eh? Honestly, I'm trying to turn over a new leaf here. You know, reform myself and all that jazz!"

"You? Of all people? You wouldn't know reformation if hit came up and bit you on the-"

"Ah,ah,ah. Leave that part to me sweetie. Wouldn't want Miss Save the world spewing out bad words now, would we? Not to mention I've kinda been doing the whole bad girl thing before you." Sheego had stopped Kim before she went any further, and then turned her attention back toward Hans. "Now then..we're all ears Hans baby. What's this about reformation?"

Hans swallowed his spit hard and wiped the sweat off of his brow.

"It's true! I have totally changed. And in case you don't believe me, I deleted all of the pictures, and I haven't taken off the you know what."

"Really? It's still on?" Sheego raised an eyebrow.

"Really! I've had it on for about four years now! Plus, I don't even work **there** anymore. The hours sucked, so I quit. I've really changed for the better ladies. Kimmy, Sheego. You gotta believe me! I'm not planning anything, diabolical or devious or anything like that anymore!"

Kim and Sheego looked at each other and then looked at Hans, with doubt still lingering in their eyes.

"Stand up and say that again." Kim said with her hands still targeted on him as he stood up on his feet."Stand up...slowly."

"Ouch...not like I have a choice...Ow...I think you cracked one of my ribs..."

Hans stood up with both hands behind his head, and looked straght at them.

"Now, say you're sorry for everything you did to me and Sheego, and that you've doing anything else bad."

"Really? Sorry for everything? Don't stand there and tell me that it was ALL bad. Huh Kimmy?"

She then blushed at his comment, and the plue plasma energy began to focus and light up in his face.

"Shut up! Just say it already!"

"Woah! Seem's I touched a nerve! What about you Sheego, wasn't it good for you darlin?"

Sheego rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders.

"They were...interesting diversions."

"Is that all I am to you?! A diversion?! Ohhh, madam you wound me! I guess I can take back that whole tiger comment huh?"

"Stop wasting our time, and say it already!"

"Alright, Alright. I'm sorry for everything that I've done to you guys, I swear on my possibly dead mother's grave that I'm not up to anything bad."

All of a sudden, a large sensation could be felt within the lab. It was the sensation that Hans felt earlier, only it was stronger this time. Strong enough to make everybody in the room lose their balance and tip down to the floor. From the floor, the ground began to seperate from the seems and the fragments of a drill could be seen rising up from the ground. It was attached to a steamlike machine that was sleek in design around the front and heavily built around the back parts. The drill had made a complete hole in the ground until the machine had reached the surface from being undergound. A lid had popped open from the cockpit, which was placed on the roof of the back, and from it, a most irriating voice could be heard.

 _ **"GREETINGS ALL YE WHO PASS HERE! YOU MAY SIT AND GAZE IN WONDER AT THE GENIUS OF MY MOLE RAT MACHINE! IT IS UNLIKE ANYTHING YOU HAVE EVER SEEN IN THIS LIFETIME! AND I, DOCTOR VON DRAKEN HAVE INVENTED IT FIRST, BEFORE ANYONE ELSE COULD GET THEIR GRUBBY LITTLE HANDS ON THE SCHEMATICS. WHY! I HAVE MADE A BREAKTHROUGH IN THE SCIENTIFIC AND THE ARCHAELOGICAL FIELDS AT THE SAME TIME! THERE'S NO POSSIBLE WAY THAT I COULD FAULTED ON EITHER PERSPECTIVE AS A 'REJECT' OR A 'FAUX PAS' DOCTOR. FOR I, DOCTOR DRAKEN AM A-**_ "

"Seriously?! Seriously?! Do you seriously need to announce yourself in YOUR OWN FUCKING LAB?!" Sheego yelled out at Draken, interuppting his speech. He simply looked down at everyone else non-chalantly.

"Sheego! What are you doing down there?! I thought I told to tighted the defenses around the perimeter and keep a look out for..." He then stopped to look down at the people beside Sheego, one last time, and found a surprise amongst them. "Kim Possible! Have you come here to thwart my advances into world domination once more?! How dare you!"

"Lay off Draken! I didn't come here for you! Your henchwoman here can vouch for that for a fact!"

"Henchwoman? I'm gonna hit you for that."

Draken looked puzzled.

"Vouch? For what? Sheego, what on earth is she-"His eyes grew wider and a smile of evil proportions crept on his face as he locked eyes with another particular individual. "Well, well! Hansmueller Schwaser Maynard! Oh how I've looked forward to this day!"

"You call me by full name again, I'm gonna shove that drill of yours somewhere where the sun doesn't shine!"

"Ahhh, ever the rebellious spirit! Have you come to volunteer for my experiments yet again. I have to say they went so well the last time, I must simply do it again!"

"Back off Doc! I got business with him!" Sheego snapped at him.

"Sheego?! You have business with him?! Don't be ridiculous, Kim Possible is standing right next to you!"

"We **both** have business with him."

"I don't understand! How can you both have business with him at the same time. I mean, last time he was here I-" Suddenly Draken had been strucken by a revelation, and then facepalmed himself."Ohhh! Really Sheego?! With the subject?! I tell you, off all the things I caught you doing over the years, I never thought that was something you would resort to! I mean, honestly, are you that desperate?! I mean...I would have no problem if it were you with me...BUT nonetheless Sheego! You know that dominating the world comes first over all other priorities! No exceptions! Why! I would sooner-"

"Listen here Doc, I don't know what the hell you're thinking, but if you would take about a few seconds to take your thumb out of your mouth, you might want to help us capture him?!"

Draken soon came back to his senses after Sheego interuppted his monologue, and began to call in his other henchmen with the press of a button. Within seconds they stormed the lab, and all crowed around the three.

"Well that's just great. Never in a shortage of punching bags for me, huh Draken?" Kim chided.

Draken's blue face began to turn red from frustration.

"GUARDS! ATTACK THE PECKERFACED TEENAGER!" Draken yelled out the command, and all of the guards began to charge at Kim all at once. From all directions, she engaged them in their attacks and countered them all without effort. Within ten seconds, she had downed about six or seven heavy set guards, and was showing no signs of slowing down. With every step she took, a heavy jab or a quick over the shoulder throw followed immediately afterwards.

"KP! DON'T WORRY! I COMIN' TO HELP!" Soon her incompetent sidekick Ron showed up, covered to brim in plant fertilizer, that gave off a wrenching smell as soon as he walked in, which had made all present company stop in their tracks. "Alrighty! I know nobody wants ANY of what I'm dishing out! I bet I can take down at least ten of you with...uh" He then started to get a better look at the opposition he was dealing with, and saw they were a little on the large side."Well...maybe three...or one in a half...at best...hehehe...uhhhh buddy, a little help here?" He then whispered off to the side. All of a sudden, something began to move around in his clothes and soon popped out of his shirt. It was a naked mole rat by the looks of it, and it began to do various kung fu movements and switch to various styles in order to intimidate the guards. Instead of which, they were left sorely confused as how to even compute what was happening right now.

"Oh man...what's uh...what's happening right now?" One guard asked.

"I don't even know man. I'm just here to make up some extra hours. I actually had to cancel a date Bridget tonight." Another guard responded

"Really?! The chick from accounting with the huge rack, and the bubble butt?!"

"Hell yeah man! She was ready to go ALL...NIGHT...LONG...like YEAH!" All of a sudden, the guard began to furiously hump the air while the other guards began to beckon him on.

Draken began to grow even more furious at how things were turning out.

"Sheego! Get my men under control! NOW!"

"Relax Doc! As soon as we're done with-" She turned around to direct her attention to Hans...who was absent from the spot he was in."What the hell?! Where did he go?!"

Kim soon realized the situation, and began to use her PDA to scan the room in an effort to locate Hans, who she figured wouldn't be that far from the portal, and that he wouldn't have that long to get there as it turned out he only had about a minute left before it closed.

"Hurry and give me something Wade!"

"Gimme a second...he's there! On the upper balconies!"

Everyone on the ground soon locked up at to see him making a break for the portal on the upper ledges.

 _ **"HANS!"**_ Everyone had shouted out his name as everything that was considered projectile was thrown at him, all of them missing by a hairs inch.

"Hans baby! You only have ten seconds left!"

"Yeah Molly?! No shit!"

After running the whole balcony, the portal was finally in arms reach of Hans. At the last second, Sheego had jumped up near the side of Hans, and had grabbed him with her plasma hands, but only managing so much to as to scratch him on his back before Hans made it through.

"Dammit Hans!" Sheego shouted.

"Sorry Sheego sweetie! I'll be sure to bump you up on the people who want me dead list!" Hans chided as he managed to make it through right before it closed.

Sheego had punched the wall near her in frustration, which had a left a huge gaping hole in the middle of it.

"Hey! Hey! Do you have any idea how much it costs to maintain this place?!" Draken shouted at her in equal frustration.

"Not really in the mood Doc!"

"Oh, calm yourself Sheego. You seem to forget we have the boy's DNA code..."

"And?"

"Imagine the possiblities of what we could do with his blood Sheego! Genetic engineering. Cloning, splicing, enchancement. You've experienced it yourself firsthand!"

Kim had jumped in with a kick that interuppted their conversation, which Sheego had blocked with her forearm.

"If you're thinking of going behind my back with another experiment doc, you got another thing coming!" Kim declared.

Draken then looked down at the floor to see all of his guards unconcious, with Ron surprisingly still standing. He tried not assume the worst.

"Hmph! You've won this one Possible! But I'll be back! And next time..." He then held a vial of blood in his hands. "I shall have an elite army on my hands!" Draken then activated his machine which had dug another hole into the ground escaping, with Sheego hitching a ride in the cockpit.

"Smell ya later Kimmy! Enjoyed the teamup thing by the way!" She chided.

"That makes one of us!" Kim also chided.

"KP! You alright up there?!"

"I'm fine Ron! Wade! Did you manage to get an ID lock?"

Wade then appeared on her PDA

"Sure did! Just give a few weeks, and I'll have a device hooked up to your PDA that functions just like the one Hans had. He's not gonna get away from us next time!"

"For sure. You da man Wade!"

 **Later, behind Han's apartment**

Hans was soon let out at the portal behind his house. By the time he looked up, it was already nightfall. He had sighed a breath of exhaustion and relief that he was finally home. Though this conquest ended in somewhat of a failure, he still felt accomplished in some form shape and manner. How he was feeling this way...is better left unsaid.

"Welp...better get ready for the worst." Despite saying that, the tired Hans had perked up rather quickly, and was filled with energy. His member was even starting to gain motivation.

"Oooo, Hans sweetie. Aren't you feeling rather energetic?"

"Well, seeing as how I almost died back there, I'm feeling a little invigorated right now, and I'm ready to fuck anything that moves. And I mean anything."

And then, as if induced by some comedic timing, his next door neighboor, Mrs. Stevens, who was 92 years old had walked out of her house and whiff of Han's declaration, and creepily smiled.

"Okay, maybe not EXACTLY anything."

 **Inside Han's apartment.**

Hans had opened the door, a breathed a little sigh.

"Guys, I'm home." As soon as he made it inside the door and turned around to lock the door, he felt someone's arms around his stomach."Aww man. That you Tigress? Amelia? Or maybe Alex? Gimme a second, the buffet will be open in just a few-" As he spoke he suddenly found his body being carried backwards...into a german suplex!

His head went against hard wooded floor, and then his body went rolling into his furniture, breaking a couple of knick knacks and vases along the way. He had struggled to get up from the impact. Even though he had taken plenty of hard hits before, this one was on a whole other level of pain.

" _ **C'mon! Don't tell me you've forgotten how to take one of my hits, have you?! Is you serious right now? Holy fucking shit, you are letting me down!"**_

Right away, Han recognized the voice that spoke. That burly, depraved, slow, and heavy tone of voice, along with a DJ Kaled-like pitch.

"Arghhh, my head...You trying to split my skull in half old man?!"

He then stopped laughing.

"Yo Hans, is that any way I've taught you to speak to your father, huh?" He told him.

"Whoops sorry..." He cleared his throat."What the fuck, fucker?! Are you trying to fucking kill me right now?! I'll fucking beat the shit out of your Jabba the Hutt looking ass!"

"Hey! That's my boy!"

They both gave eachother a fist pound and then brought it in with a hug.

Long story short, this was Hans's father, Charles Maynard. Although he doesn't look it, he's actually 55 years old, yet has the appearance of a 26 year old. He's usually out on what he says are adventures, but currently nobody really knows where he goes on them, or how long he's gone for. Because of this, Hans and Sera barely see him anymore. But despite the absence, he is primarily responsible for the way Hans is now. From when they were kids, teaching them how to fight, homeschooling all the way up to high school, and pretty much everything else.

After the hug, they both sat down in the surprisingly clean living room. Ever since Hans got his "roomates", he's had to pull double duty on the cleaning efforts. Which had set him back a couple thousand on the cathouse, but suffice it say, he didn't care. A room clean of ripped pillows, broken furniture, suspicious stains, and funny smells were a good substitute for a bunny mansion any day he thought. After pouring him a shot of wiskey, Hans took a deep breath before speaking.

"Ummm...Pops, not that I'm not glad to see you or anything...but what are you doing here? I haven't seen in 7 years! I thought you were dead!"

"Boy I wasn't dead. Didn't notice all of those supplements I've sending you in the mail?"

Hans took a minute to think about it, and then it came to him.

"That was you? I thought it was from another one of those...enhancement companies that I accidentally signed a warranty on when visiting the doctors. I have no idea how I keep falling for those! They're always behind the terms and conditions! Nobody reads that shit!"

Charles remained quiet throughout Hans rant, and simply squinted.

"Son. What in the hell are you going on about?"

"Uhhh...nothing...nothing. I...uh...kinda do that a lot. Go off spectrum. I'm sorry Pops."

"What are you aplogizing for?! I used to do that shit all the time when I was your age! Among other things...wink wink."

"Ohhh Pops you are so crazy!"

"I know! My psychiatrist used to say that. Until I stabbed him to death." Both of them started laughing out loud, while at the same time everyone of Han's neighbors started to bang on the walls and yelled out seeing as how it was the middle of the night, but both of them prattled on like they didn't have a care in the world. "Oh yeah! I have got some bottles of Four Loko in my pack. I remember I used to have you drink these when you were 6 years old, and I wanted to jack off to some kiddy porn. Ahhh, good times..."

"Really Dad?! You sick fuck!"

"You still love me though. Now enough stalling boy. Where the glasses at?"

"Ughhh...somewhere on the counter..."

Chareles got up out of his seat and went into the kitchen. A few seconds later, Hans received a text from Scotty.

' _Yo Dude! Glad to see you're still alive. You've gone for a few days man, so I couldn't call you or anything. Listen, my brother Ricky found a contact that deals with real estate. Once we finish making the house, we can sit down with him and tell him what we can do about trying to negotiate a reasonable mortage price. If we manage to score something under 250 ,000, we're in there! Let me know when you're available for the meetup, so we can talk prices. This is the homestretch man! Just a few more miles until we're ankles deep in some squishy wishy! Later bro!'_

"Nice! Almost there. Just a couple of more days of working at the dead end piece of shit job, and it's waffles and pecans all day, every day! Plus I won't have to worry about keeping that baby downstairs up anymore. His mother is a pain in the-"

"Hans! Do you have any...back pains or sore muscles?" Charles yelled out from the kitchen.

"Uhh...no? Why?"

"Really? Then why is there a 18 inch vibrator in the sink?"

 **Part 1 END**

 **Fro Ninja; Yes, you read that right. This installment is a two parter, and one I intend to hopefully finish very soon. Sadly, there weren't as many lemons as there usually are, but you still had fun, right? Also, despite the first half of this installment being in the Kim Possible universe, the majority of it will take place in the Lilo & Stitch universe, so just keep that in mind as the next part drops. Part 2 will be out sometime around next month, until then, One Love!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Fro Ninja; Hello there my beautiful people. It certainly has been a while since we left off with these crazy characters, but now they're back in da literary flesh. On another note, I noticed a lot of people have been favoriting and following this particular series and its other incarnations. If you are one of these people, thank you so much for taking in interest in my crazy ass idea and taking the time out of your day to read it. Also a quick PSA, seeing as how Chronicles will be engaging in an over-arching story, every part will have a few chapters to back up its storytelling, so keep that in mind when the updates come in.**

 **All in all, I hope you guys and gals continue to follow along on Han's crazy adventures even more from now on. Keep on reading, and leaving a comment or two definitely wouldn't hurt! Now then, let's get into the previous comments really fast.**

 _ **Smiling Lemon;**_ **You definitely don't beat around the bush huh? Lol, just kidding. I'm building up to that point, but I'll have something in there just for you, so just be patient. Also try not to kill anyone in frustration...**

 _ **NeonPartyDude;**_ **Hey man, thanks for checking in. No, that's definitely not a mistake. Hans has been to the KP universe before, but I haven't gotten around to explaining yet in the was intentional, but don't worry, I'll explain yet later.**

 **Sera's perspective**

 **In Lotty's Bar. Across town**

Now I gotta say, I was against this at first, but I am warming up to these chicks. Every time Hans goes on one of his inter dimensional pussy runs, I'm stuck on babysitting duty. He is aware I have my own life right? Not that I'm complaining though, these girls are proving to be some entertaining company. Tigress managed to hold her own against me in a shots contest with some Tokyo iced tea, which I must say would normally burn a sorority sisters throat out while she's in the back of an ambulance. Not this bitch though. She was tonka tough. Even Amelia was holding her own downing Bacardi and moonshine like a champ. It didn't take them long to get used to this world's drinks, assuming their worlds had any at all. Sam, Clover, and Alex were on the other end of the table sipping on orange juice. Underaged chicks, am I right?

I just finished downing my eleventh shot of iced tea mixed with tequila. Right about now, my heart is doing a drum solo to Steve Nash song, and my blood feels like a bubble bath. Surprisingly, I was still able to gain control of my balance throughout the whole thing. What was even more impressive was that Tigress was putting it all down in her stomach, while Amelia looks like she's been drinking water the whole time.

"I must say. The drinks in your world have quite the exquisite taste." Amelia mouthed off.

I slammed my hand on the table after downing my shot.

"Exquisite? That's it?! These are some of the most dangerous drinks in the world! They've been banned in dozens of bars! How have you not died yet?!" I asked her.

"Oh please. If you honestly think these types of beverages are enough to make me keel over, that would be the overstatement of the year. This stuff...what do you call it? Headhunters? It's like honey tea compared to all seventy version of Martian ale. Oh it's such a delight! I had the opportunity of sampling it several times myself, and I enjoy it every single time!"

My eyelids shot up. I was intrigued by the whole telling of this kind of drink, but I was also slightly afraid to try it. Emphasis on SLIGHTLY though.

I downed another shot as the bartender served me about three more shots of where that came from. A couple frat losers kept eyeing us from across the room. I was about a second from chucking a salt dispenser between his eyes, and shoving glass in until he couldn't tell the difference between red and red. But, since I have to maintain a public image for Hans's...roommates, I bite my tongue in the name of Mother Teresa!

"Man, this spot sure has some...interesting individuals around here. Are you sure it's okay for us to even be in here?" Alex nervously asked me as I downed another drink. I could already feel my throat bleeding through my ears.

"It's fine! Don't worry about it! The first guy to step up to us and ask questions about you girls is going for a ride of pain. And not pleasurable pain either, I mean painful pain!"

"Yeah, but still..." She was fidgeting all over as she rubbed her hands on her auburn mini skirt. Damn, for sex crazed ego maniac, big bro has some good ass taste.

Amelia then wrapped her arms around the finicky Alex and started to rub her face on her cheek, attracting the attentions of plenty of partygoers around us. I grew out of that kidn of thing myself, but it is making me a tad nostalgic...

"Oh, you have too much hesitation in your wake darling. After all of the embarrassing things we've all been through because Hans, I would have taken you would have decimated your sense of shame by now."

Alex blushed bright red as she turned her head slightly.

"It's different! That...kind of stuff is usually behind closed doors. It's not like we've done it at an amusement park, or a concert, or a restaurant, or any public place."

All of a sudden, that last line made me spit up my drink right in front of this ugly biker skank sitting at the table next to our booth.

"Hey! What's the big id-"

She tried to mouth off to me, which I paid no mind to. Taking it as a sign as disrespect, she started to raise her hand toward me. Without warning, and without me knowing until the last minute, my left leg swung out from my seat, and ended up kicking her right in the solar plexus, and knocking her halfway across the bar into the jukebox machine. Now, I'm not a hundred percent on this, but I think she might need to go to a hospital.

Anyway, not that I forgot it in the heat of the moment, my eyes flew open hearing those words from Alex.

"Are you freaking serious?!" I yelled as I stood up out of my seat. "You mean Hans has never fucked you in public before?!" I had no idea how loud I was being until everyone in the bar started to quiet down.

"Uhh, yeah, a little louder why dontcha?" Clover chided to me.

I shrugged off the attention that we were receiving, and proceed to work on my remaining shots. Tigress had cleared her throat as she put down her cup of sake.

"Perhaps that is a conversation best handled in private, Sera?" I stuck my tongue out in a playful manner leading everyone else to facepalm each other, and pretty soon the bar went back to its usual business. "But as long as we're on the subject, I also find it rather odd that you haven't engaged in such illicit activities outdoors yet Alex. Recently, it seems you are the one that spends the most time with Hans after all. Even without us knowing."

Alex's eyes shot open in surprise. Something tells me a nail just got hit on the head. I sip my drink in interest.

"I-I don't know what you're...talking about?" She tried to play coy, but her honest personality came breaking her supposed poker face.

Amelia chuckled as she set down her drink.

"Oh please darling. You're not doing anyone any favors by lying. Plus it's literally written all over your face as well. You've been getting in ahead of us lately, haven't you?"

"O-o-of course not Amelia! W-why would I ever do such a silly thing?"

Amelia smirked as Alex tripped over her own tongue.

"What 'silly thing' dear girl? I haven't said a word."

Though I'm late on this whole thing that's going down, I'm even more intrigued as Tigress grips her drink so hard it breaks, and Sam and Clover gaze at Alex as if they're about to bring back the whole thing of snitches get stitches. God, high school was such a long time ago.

"So what? It's not like she has anything to hide." Clover scoffed. "You two are probably doing the same thing aren't you?! You are like, such hypocrites!" She then suddenly accused both Amelia and Tigress. Of which really didn't take a genius to figure returned her pointed finger with a threatening gaze and a under breath snarl.

"Dare to repeat your foolish words child? So that I may inform you of your regrets?"Amelia then calmed down Tigress, placing her hand on her tense shoulder.

"Now, now. It's not like she speaks from flustered intentions. There is actually some base in her accusations."

"In what way?!" Tigress snarled back at Amelia, pushing away her helpful hand. "It should be a well known fact that WE are Han's significant others!" I hope she remembers that it was a while before she took those words to heart, but it's probably best if I stay quiet in this situation. I don't feel like messing up the bar anymore than I already have."In what manner do this young harlot deserve to be with him anymore than we do?!"

"If I recall, you thought the same thing of me not long ago Tigress." Took the words right out of my mouth."Besides, don't you think you're overstepping your boundaries just a bit?"

"What did you say?!" Tigress's growling started to become even louder.

"Amelia's right!" Sam suddenly spoke out. That's bizarre. I haven't heard a single thing come out of her mouth all night. Three's to a pair I guess."What makes you think that Hans belongs to you anymore than he does to us?!"

"What makes me think? I am his...his...his..." As she tried to find the words to fit the equation, everyone started to eye Tigress(me included) like she had just kicked a puppy, and from the way she's blushing in embarrassment, I'd gather she would want to right about now.

"Just admit it darling. Hans does not simply belong to you alone. He belongs to all of us, and we all know where we stand when it comes to that. Just look at yourself, you can't even sort out your own feelings on this matter."

"Well that's...that's not..."

"Hmph, and you call yourself his true lover, yet you attempt to monopolize him at every turn instead of sharing him like a good little girl. Don't make me laugh."Tigress then starts to quietly growl while looking in the opposite direction of everybody else. Someone just got shut down."Ha. I rest my case, now then, I believe we need to have a talk about our system girls."

I slowly started to drown out the noise of everything else as I drown in my new drink that the waiter brought over. Not that I'm complaining, but this literally happens every time I take these crazy chicks out of the semen infested and honey drowned shithole that is my brother's apartment. Just once, I wish that we could talk about something other than Hans, but we need to keep the story rolling some way right? Just once, I wish we can talk about something else...productive, lest the we piss off the SJW's peeking in on our conversation. Maybe the stock market. NASDAQ is always down like a cheap whore...Oohh! We could talk about the general society fills your head with delusions of grandeur of having high maintenance dreams as a result of movies and t.v. shows but then set you up to fail! No,no,no. That's too depressing. Or maybe we could talk about how we like our steaks. Me personally, if it doesn't bleed by the time I bite into it, that restaurant is getting a shitty review, courtesy of the food network.

Good god, is this how Hans thinks? Man, we really are related...How is that even possible? Dammit Dad. He used to lay us down in the t.v. whenever he was training us. He called it image training. Wow. No wonder I listen to so much pop music

"Sera!" I then get brought back into the real world after hearing the spry voice of Alex."What do you think?!"I shake my head as I try to get a better understanding of what the hell is going on.

"What do I think of what, exactly?" I was obviously off in my head, so the proof I wasn't paying attention was as clear as day.

"Of how we all handle our undying affection for Hans. Obvs!" Clover snapped at me. It caught me of guard, but I was pretty close to cutting off those fingers."It's clear that the current schedule isn't working so we need a new idea!" Wait, schedule?

"It was a pretty plastered together idea to begin with. Since it was something that we just came up with on the fly." Sam said. I'm certainly glad they're getting along, but seriously, they have to have a schedule?! Jesus, bro! How do you do it?!

"Indeed. We need to be more rational on how the times are divided, and how to make sure none of us get ahead of the others. If we all band our hands together, we can find out some kind of solution, agreed?" Amelia said as everyone around the table nodded in agreement, save for one Tigress, who was still sulking in the corner of the seat next to me.

"Okay, okay. First and foremost, can I please get the full story on HOW exactly this system came to be exactly?" All of them then looked at me in shock, as if I should be informed on this story already.

"Sera. You mean you don't know? I would have figured Hans told you what happened. What with you two being so close and all."

I then spit up my drink once more, this time in Clover's face, ruining her hair and makeup.

"What do you mean?! What did he tell you?! What have you heard?!" I didn't hear any answers, except the look Amelia's grin and her chuckling.

"Everything..."

"How did you-?"

"Pillow talk darling. Obviously. Plus your brother talks in his sleep." This chick...I seriously cannot underestimate her. 'Captain' clearly isn't a title she got by just being pretty."Now then, by that reaction, I imagine he didn't tell you then?"

I then straighten myself before talking."No, what happened?"

"Well, perhaps it's better if Alex tells you the story." Alex's eyes shot open in surprise.

"W-wait! I-I have to tell it?!"

"It IS because of you that we have this system to begin with. But don't worry, you won't be the one telling the story." Ameilia then winked...to somebody. I definitely cannot underestimate this chick.

"O-okay, fine." Alex cleared her throat. "Well, uh...it happened about a month ago if I remember correctly..." I then find myself listening to her story of debauchery. I down another shot just in case.

 **Third person perspective**

 **One month ago**

 **Han's bedroom**

 **3:25 AM**

It was the dead of night. The apartment was unusually quiet to most of the neighbors around this time, for reasons that have been made numerous times to them and their ears. However, this night was rather different. As Hans stated a few hours earlier, he had to prepare for a business trip that his job was sending to him in another location in another state. He was set to leave tomorrow, so he thought it would proably be for the best if he would get an early night of sleep, before setting out in the carpool in the morning. This obviously meant, no sex. Which for everyone was very,very,very,very,very,very,very, very,very,very,very,very,very,very,very,very,very,very,very,very,very,very,very,very,very,very,very,very,very, shocking.

So true to his words, he refused to touch any of his women for the whole day for the sake of conserving energy for the business trip. Remarkably, the plan was a success, as Hans did not become the least bit of frustrated or pent up at refusing to fornicate. But the girls on the other hand, were another story.

As Hans rolled around in his bed, a silent creak could be heard coming from the door. A shadow could be seen slowly creeping inside of his bedroom. Whoever it was, they made their way to the bedpost and snuck under the sheets. After a few minutes Han rolled on his back to get to a more comfortable position in his stead.

"Ohhh...Umph,"

He groaned a little, as he found a bit hard to breathe from the front of his body."What the hell?" It wasn't just that, there was an entire weight pressing against his body that was pushing him down on the bed, preventing him from leaning up. He then slowly opened his eyes to see what was going on. All he saw was the darkness of his room as he looked around, and all seemed to be in order. Save for of course, the giant figure sticking out from his sheets that moved and glided around. "Oh dear lord! Is that you Casper?! I'm sorry I never watched your movie as a kid! The comics just clicked with me more! Please don't kill me!" He then cowered in fear to his assumptions.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Hans then shook off his fear as he heard a familiar voice coming from under the sheets. He then took them off to reveal a plucked faced Alex smiling at Hans, in the buff."Uhh, sorry...Did I wake you?"

"Oh no, of course not Alex. I'm just practicing how to fall asleep with my eyes open!" He said sarcastically. She playfully stuck her tongue in response. "I thought I told you and the others, and while it is hard to believe especially coming from me, I'm trying to lay off from sex so I can concentrate on this business trip."

Alex looked at him confusingly."Since when have you ever cared about that job anyway? You always say how your boss is a 'garbage infested, festering douche bag looking foghorn leghorn sounding asshole that you hope is married so his wife can cheat on him with a blue collar worker', and that you don't like him."

"I don't like him, and also that other part, but I need the money from this job. All the money from my bank heist days went towards college because my stupid old man doesn't believe in higher education for the morally challenged."

"Are you?"

"Yes. No. Maybe. I'm still going through my development as a person alright? Anyway, why are you here when I clearly told you I'm not doing anything with you guys today?"

"Awww...but you can't mean that..."

"I do."

"Not even the sight of my body gets you going?"

"So what if it does? I'm still not gonna do anything to you!" Han said, as if trying to convince himself of something.

"Oh really? So you don't mind if I stay the night in your bed then?!" She asked cheerfully.

"And might I ask, what in the seven hells is wrong with your bed?"

Just in case you were wondering, Hans had built a double king sized bed that deploys from the living room, under the couch. The reasons for this being was that he was tired of Tigress taking snacks to his bed, Amelia wanting to cuddle, Sam using the lamp to read a physics book, Clover looking at Twitter on her phone, and Alex's snoring all at the same time in his room. Though sixsomes were indeed fun for him, there is only so much that pillow talk can do for the time afterwards.

"I had a bad dream..." She said with puppy eyes. Hans returned the look with an unfazed expression.

"Ummm, so? How's that my problem?"

"Well, I was wondering if you would stay with me, just until I fall asleep? I promise, I won't do anything..."

It was at this point, Han's sense of reason, and his own pride as a man were beginning to balance each other out.

" _It's really fucking obvious what this girl is trying to do. But the problem is, do I let her do it? I should right?I mean, I never said I wouldn't just spend time with them...And pretty much all we do is fuck all day, and talk in between. Besides, I never spent any time with just one of the girls since Tigress, so maybe this could be a change of pace for me! Of course I'm aroused by the sight of her body. Those small yet perky breasts. Those petite curves that show her slight immaturity,those slender and long legs, and those warm and firm ass cheeks of hers. All complimented by the healthy tan of hers that runs down all around her body. Dear God, I'm not helping my situation, am I?Okay, okay, okay. I'll let her sleep in he bed, but that's it! If I start going back on my word, the others will never take me seriously. Not that they should in the first place, but still! Okay, Hans, you can do this! You've gone cold turkey before even it stares you back in the face. This is no different! I can do this shit! I got this! I SO got this!"_

"Okay fine, you can sleep in the bed, but nothing else! We aren't doing anything besides sleep. Understand?" He said firmly to Alex.

"Okay! I promise! We won't do anything else!"

 **2 hours later.**

 **"OH DONKEY!"**

Pleasure shot through Han's brain as he pushed his cock inside of Alex, his head surrounded the sweet and warm walls of her pussy.

"Yes! Yes! Khhh!" Alex herself shivers and shouts with pleasure as her insides become skwered from the outside over and over again."Mmmgh! That feels so good!" The intense pleasure that they both feel destroys the filter on both of their words. Pretty soon, the bedroom is filled with nothing but their grunting and groaning that was reminiscent of two apes mating. Over the past week, Hans had been holding back from doing anything with the other girls, even refraining from masturbating in his free time. All of the cum he had stored up, combined with the enhancement drugs that have remained in his system since childhood, make his strokes sensitive more usual.

As he takes her with every stab, he grows closer to cumming every second his uncovered tip searches every part of her. His body lied on top of hers as their sweat drowned in them in an everlasting heat that they traded with each other. His tongue flew circles around her chest as it clinged to hers, and her legs wrapped around his arched back.

"Damn! Alex! I feel like I was gonna cum the second I got inside you!" Hans yells out.

"Me too! I don't just love your cock Hans! I love you! I love you so much!" Those very words make Han's cock throb with ferocity inside of her."Don't think of anyone else right now! Just think of me! Only me!"He internalized her words as he thrust inside her even harder this time."Mmmghh, ahh!" At first, they had started out slowly, but now they are at the point of intensity that it'd hard to even breathe for the two of them. Of course, for all accounts and purposes, Hans was able to hold back with a naked Alex in his bed for a good hour and a half before giving into his cravings. But of course, this is nothing new.

"Yes! Your cock feels so good! I love it!" Hans flushed in pleasure, could hardly believe it himself. Alex, the usual bubbly and rather peppy girl that is never been one to announce her true feelings at a split second, was now displaying a rather passionate look that he couldn't help but take notice of. It was one that he has never seen before, in any woman. Though they were both growing dangerously close to climaxing, Hans tried his best to hold out to keep from finishing before Alex.

"Mrrgh! Ahhh, shit!" A complete wave of pleasure was beginning to take over his mind with each several thrust that was put toward Alex. It was so overpowering, Hans wasn't even given a chance to truly enjoy the experience."Damn! It feels so good, I can't keep up!" As several minutes pass by, they both continue to make love to each other. Both felt signs of fatigue, but it's only by pure reflex and instinct that keep them going on.

"Oh! Oh god! My mind is going blank!" It was a rather tantalizing sight for him to view Alex's perky breasts barely sway back and forth, though for him, it was still rather erotic.

"Mmmm! Damn! Damn!" Hans grits his teeth and struggles with each stroke as his hips move furiously without pause. Alex even matches the movement of her hips along with his, and tightens her pussy around the head of his penis. Despite being a virgin less than a month ago, she's already proceeding forward with more experience and boldness that can be expected of any teenage girl. He definitely takes notice of this as he takes for a couple more thrusts, only to meet with the tightness of her walls, that could almost with enough force, could rip his cock off. Despite the warning of this, Hans's brain signals his body to ignore it and keep on going.

"Mmm! Yeah! Yeah!"

"Damn girl! Remind me to never underestimate you again!"

"Oh Hans! I just...I just can't control myself! It feels so good!" The sensation of the fast pumping makes both of them lose sense of themselves as they drown into a cavalcade of ecstasy."Your cock keeps trying to break into my womb! I love it! I love it so much! It's so warm! You're rubbing so hard it's driving me crazy! Does it feel good for you too?!"

"Oh baby you have no idea!" His cock continuously rubbed against her erect clit as she shakes with pleasure each time they collide against each other.

"Mmmm!" A moan then escapes from her lips as a light orgasm reaches her insides, and sweat droplets leak all over her succulent brown skin. Even for a talented virgin such as herself, she has her limits it seems.

"Damn! Alex baby, I'm about to cum! Oh shit! My balls will explode if I don't let it out soon!"

"Please! Cum! Let it all out! Let me have all that daddy milk! Take all the cum in those huge balls and pour it right inside of me!"

"I'm cumming baby! I'm cumming! Oh, OH DONKEY!" In that moment, Hans couldn't stop even if he wanted to. His hips were on a mission to liberate his balls of cum. Alex's pussy squeezes down extra hard as his tip kisses her womb, begging for cum. He then thrusts his hips so hard it arcs her body upward, and in that moment, he stopped holding back and released every single drop he had as it flowed all in her womb like a complete avalanche.

"Ohh! I'm cumming! I'm cumming!" The sensation of being cummed inside of, makes her orgasm once again.

...

A few moments after it was over, Hans slumped over Alex's body in exhaustion after he dumped practically a lifetimes worth of cum in her womb. Both of them breathed like they had just several marathons down the Daytona speedway.

"Hahhh, haaaahhh...Wow...you really stuffed me...full of your stuff..."

"Please...you were the one sucking me dry..."

"Oh! No, I-I didn't do anything!"

"Humility as pillow talk after all that? Hehe...you're full of surprises little lady."

"Hehe, I try..."

Both of their lips touched each other in a sweet embrace as the moonlight fell on their naked bodies.

Suddenly, the door burst open.

" **Ah-HA! I knew it!"** Behind the helm were Tigress, Amelia, Sam, and Clover, all staring at the buffed out Hans and Alex."Holding back for our sake are you now?" Amelia cocked her head at the obviously indisposed two.

"Now, Ladies! I know this is exactly what it looks like, but I promise you that it was entirely out of control!"

"NO!" In the heat of the moment, Alex's had suddenly risen up from her stead, headbutting Hans in the nose, causing him to fall back, knocking the back of his head one of the steel corners of the bedpost, knocking him out cold."Hans!"

All of the girls gathered around his unconscious body to check if he was still alive. Sam reached down and felt the parts of his skull.

"He's fine. He's taken a lot more worse hits than this. He'll probably wake up in the next hour. But on the other hand..."

All of them had begun to stare down Alex with bloodthirsty eyes, like they wanted to tear her head off.

"Care to explain yourself darling?" Amelia asked with crossed arms.

"Well...uh...I...um...you see...what had...happened was..." As Alex struggled to explain herself, Tigress already began cracking her knuckles.

"And we advise you to pick your words very carefully little one."

Alex had gulped heavily as everyone had begun to gather around her.

 **Back to present time**

 **Sera's perspective**

 **En route back to Hans place.**

Holy fucking shit. I had no idea that Alex rolled like that! It almost makes me want to start studying under her or something. Who says females can't mack? Anyway, by the time they finish explaining the story, the bar was getting ready to close. They basically told me the jist of it as we started to head back to my brother's apartment. Even after hearing that story and having to pay for the jukebox machine, I should have asked for another shot of Bloody Mary, but unless something mind boggling happens, I don't think I'll need it.

They all basically came up with a system where each of them would spend a certain amount of time according to the days of the week, and according to different time slots. The business trip that bro had to go on, was supposed to be the testing ground for the system, to see if it was really possible to actually create viable system of sharing. Clearly it didn't work.

So Amelia suggested instead of having the girls suggest time slots on their own, it would be better to have Hans decide for himself who he wants to spend his free time with. I honestly don't see why they didn't just come up with that in the first place, but that's just me. Seeing as how I'm single once more, I can't say I don't see where they're coming from, but there is only so much one guy can handle by himself. But then, again this is my brother we're talking about.

As we turned the corner going into the lot of Hans place, I noticed a familiar motorcycle outside. It was black Harley tuned with a V twin two cylinder engine that's fuel injected with a manual transmission parked outside.

"Oh god no..." I tell myself as the memories come rushing back.

"Sera? What's wrong?" Clover places her hand on my shoulder to see if I'm okay. I don't even respond to it, as I'm in my own little world at the moment. Suddenly, I find my body moving in fast pacing up the stairs, leaving the others behind.

"Sera! What's wrong?! Wait!" Amelia yelled out. They all followed suit behind me as I hustled up the stairs in seconds flat. I soon got to the door.

Wasting no time, I kicked the door in.

"HANS!" To my sight, was something that no man, not even a woman, no matter how crazy her preferences are, should have to witness. My brother, a lewd, yet kind and honest guy, and my father, whom I haven't seen in 7 years...

Were having a penis fight.

As soon as we stepped in the door frame, the sight of schlongs touching each other's meat and flesh as they made sword sound effects with their mouths and hopped around furniture was disturbing enough. But it was made even more disturbing was the fact they were using my the vibrators my girlfriend got me for my birthday last year as shields. I hadn't felt a need to use them since I was boyfriend hopping last year, but I had felt the need to today. So much for that...

As soon as they realized we were all standing there with our mouths open, they had stopped their fight immediately, and the air was filled with silence. Until...

"So...you guys wanna get in on this or what?" My father said to all of us, with dick still touching my brothers.

I really should have taken that Bloody Mary to go...

 **Part 2 END**

 **Fro Ninja; Unfortunately, yes. I have to expand this installment a little bit more because reasons I can't really go into right now, but rest assured, this part is still set to take place in the Lilo and Stitch universe. I hope you had fun, and if you were able to make it to the past the last few paragraphs, good for you! Until next time, until then, One Love!**


	3. New Years

**Foreword:** Don't think about it too hard...

 **Sometime before the events of Part IV...**

 **December 31st New Years Eve**

 **4 hrs until New Years**

 **Han's Apartment**

Clover and Alex sat around lazily on the living room couch, flipping through channels. Clover was dressed up in a red tank top and black sweatpants that was tight around the glutes, and Alex was wearing one of Han's T-shirts and black track shorts. All of which were revealing, but comfortable. They would only occasionally come across a nice glorified fashion documentary or fake reality show. Tigress was up on the roof sharpening her fighting techniques. Ever since her training became more destructive around the house, i.e. smashing up most of the rented furniture that Hans still had yet to pay off, she had to take her training somewhere spacious, and for her the ideal place was the roof, as it offered no distractions. Amelia and Sam were off in the city purchasing after Christmas gifts and other ingredients for their end of the year party that was set to happen tonight, as well as some other tools for certain "nightly activities" as per to Amelia's recommendations.

Hans had been working a double shift at his job, with his manager giving him flak as switching the horror and slasher movie genre shelves, whereas before they were included on the same shelf. To his defense he stated that the notion that horror movies and slasher films belonged in the same category was the same as thinking movie sex and porn movies were the same thing. As punishment, not only was he assigned a double shift, but he was told to stand outside in the stores mascot costume handing coupons for 2 movie rentals for $10 including a Kit-kat king size bar. So far he has given out one to his old middle school history teacher that flunked him for not agreeing that Pearl Harbor was one of the greatest historical movies, and a suspicious large and husky looking man with gogo boots and shorts and shirt that said "I Fix Your Wife's Broken Leaks."Feeling uncomfortable, Hans kindly lent him a dollar and shooed him away down the block.

"I swear it's the same stuff with Michael. He should just say that him and his brother Keaton were separated at birth before Hilary comes back with the test results. It's bound to come up sooner or later" Clover said.

"But Keaton was in the army wasn't he? So there's no way that he was at Escapades that summer night! Michael was trying to make a sale up at Rutgers university at girls dormitory and he fell asleep after sneaking into Mickie's room!" Alex snapped her fingers while checking a status on her phone.

"Yeah...but that was **before** Chris said the lie to Miranda that he was at Kenny's house, when really he was over at Tony's house when she told him she had a miscarriage, and he had came out of the closet after robbing that Korean store with his cousin!" Clover leaned back onto the couch, slumping her head into a pillow.

"Wow,there's never a dull moment in the show is there?"

"Not since it got canceled after only three episodes...I wonder what else is on?" As she said that, she reached out to the nearby night stand drawer to grab something T.V. guide."Seriously though, what kind of guy doesn't even have satellite T.V. ? I still have to just look the guide to find Animal Planet episodes from 2002."

"Ooohhh! I love watching the old reruns of Golden Girls. There's like, a hidden message behind every one of those stories that they tell! Like, every time one person says a tale, it only makes it seem like its only a matter of time before we're like that some day!"

Clover scoffed.

"What? Old, single with almost every story we tell was what were like soy lattes were a trend. Yah, not holding my breath on that one girl."

"Wowww...it seems we never run out of things to talk about when its just the two of us..."Alex said while playing her toes.

"Or just when all of us are together and we're not trying to figure how we can all fit on Han's bed. How is it that all of us stay in a one bedroom apartment anyway?"

Clover and Alex paused to look out an unknown space, pondering on how such an event can happen. Soon they felt a malicious intent creep on the back of their necks as such thoughts entered their mind. It didn't take long for them to stop pondering on such events

"I get this weird feeling that we shouldn't ask that many questions when it comes to our living situation" Alex muttered.

"Something tells me that too. So much for answers." As she continued to dig around the drawer for the guide, Tigress came in through the door, with sweat rolling down all over her body and with a handtowel wiping over face. Her training outfit disheveled and drenched in her fluids signifying her hard work. As the door closed, Alex and ran up to Tigress and suddenly gave her hug.

"Tigress! I missed you so much while you were gone!"

Tigress appeared confused with a raised eyebrow.

"I was on the roof...like always." She said bluntly.

"I know! But it just seems like I haven't seen you in forever, like in a few months! Isn't that weird?!"

"You...haven't consumed one of Amelia's intoxication recently haven't you?"

"What? No no no! You know I'm still under age!"

"That's never stopped you before."

Alex puffed out her cheeks in a cute angry manner.

"That's not funny! I'm serious! There's something weird about all of this!"

"With our situation, it's been nothing but weird events. Why is today any different?" Tigress walked past Alex to the kitchen, taking out a gallon bottle of water from the fridge. Alex started fidgeting nervously which was proving to be nuisance to Tigress.

"That is getting very annoying you know." Tigress said as Alex began to pace around the room. She sighed and placed her hand on Alex's shoulder."All right then, I'll humor you. What is this feeling that you sense?" Alex's eyes lit up with the glee. She then started to take some breaths before she could find the words to say what she wanted to say.

"Well, me and Clover were talking about our soap dramas..."

"Is this one were Timmy had a fight with his best friends father over who got to keep the lease to the brothel?"

"No, that one only comes on the demand channel, but anyway, we started to talk about how is it possible for us all to fit into one small bedroom apartment? I mean there's six of us living here, yet there always seems to be someway for us to have food that can supply more than one person, a bed that's actually meant for one person, and not to mention one bathroom? And then as soon as we started to talk about it, I get this, weird feeling in my neck or back or something. At first I thought it was from when Hans tried out the Filthy Teddy, but it just...struck me from the inside... it was so weird!"

Tigress examined her face, to see if anything abnormal was present in the expression, lying for example. Remarkably, she had a very precise bullshit detector, which was how she tell if Hans was cheating on her or any of the other girls. That, and smelling his dick whenever he came home from work.

"Has Clover had this same reaction?" Tigress asked.

"She totally did! She got that same feeling in her neck too! Tell her Clover!" They both turned to Clover, who had still been reaching for the T.V guide, in the apparenltly deep drawer. She noticed the stares in her direction.

"Tell her what now?"

"About the strange feeling that I got when I wondered about all of those things!"

"Oh...uh...I was just saying that so that wouldn't feel alone in your crazy fits. Hehehe...sorrryyy!"

Alex puffed out her face even more, and started to flail her arms around like a child.

"I AM NOT CRAZY! THIS IS SERIOUS!"

Tigress then quickly hushed Alex, placing her fingers on her lips.

"Need I remind you? We have neighbors you know." She said calmly.

Alex took her fingers off of her mouth.

"Yeah! But have we ever seen the neighbors?" She asked Tigress."Have we even heard noises coming out from the other apartments? Have we ever seen people coming out of the rooms from whenever we take turns shopping? We don't even know if we're the only ones that pay rent or even the water bill!"

"Hans pays the rent. Amelia pays the other utilities." Clover said quietly.

"Exactly my point!"

"Oooookay...officially ignoring Alex day startsssssss...now!"

Just as she finished saying it, Tigress went towards to kitchen to prepare her portion of the New Years dinner, and Clover finally found the T.V. guide in the abyssal drawer and went back to watching her soaps. Alex started to teem with anger with all of her unanswered questions.

"Seriously?! Am I the only one that has these questions?!"

 **Meanwhile at the Downtown Hollywood Video**

"I just thought of something." Hans said as he was restocking the store shelves in a half ruined mascots outfit. He got into a fight with some college sophomores that tried to use his coupons as roll ups for their marijuana stash, and proceeded to beat the crap out of them and criticize them for their practices, and how they should get a bong instead.

"What's that?" Said his co-worker Holly, who is just now being mentioned after all of this time with our unlikely hero and his unlikely harem. She was playing solitaire on the store computer. The store was completely dead of any business, and a lot of the movies were either old or to easy to spot that it was a bootleg, and didn't even bother replacing or updating the inventory.

"I never really been at work in the past few months, have I?"

"What are you talking about? You were just in not long ago on the Christmas week."

"Yeah, I know that...but the problem I don't even remember that even happening!"

"What do you mean?" She asked un-enthusiastically.

"I mean, the last thing I literally remember before I came into work this morning was breaking up a fight between two of my love slav-uh...I mean...my wiv-no! I mean my uh...living host-...goddammit...whats the word for someone that lives with you and contributes something to the household, but you don't treat them like crap, and they come in multiple amounts?"

Holly stared at Hans dumbfounded.

"A roommate?"

"Uhhhh...yeah sure! Let's go with that!"Holly shrugged."Anyway, the last thing I remember is a fight between two of my roommates, for me getting three new roommates, and my little sister being there."

"Really? Then what happened?"

"That's just it! I remember them beating the crap out of me, but then I just blacked out. Not from the ass kicking mind you, I've taken bigger lumps from my old man and my sister, but after that it was just...fade to black!"

"I see..."

"And then there's you Holly!"

"What about me?"

"I mean, it feels like I meeting you for the first time, yet I've worked with you for more than two years! That's fucking weird!"

"I dunno. For a guy that has a anthropomorphic french poodle for a little sister, and somehow lives with five other roommates in a one bedroom apartment, I figured this would be normal for you."

"You forgot about the cell phone that takes me to other dimensions, where I go to pick up chicks."

"Oh yeah? Totally forgot about that part you told me about. How is that been going by the way?"

"That's just it, it has like...a hundred other destinations that I haven't even been to, but I've only been to like three of them! And I haven't even figured how the shuffle feature works, or its on direct repeat, or anything! I dunno!"

"Right..."

"And its like whenever I start to wonder about these questions, I start to get this weird tingling feeling in my dick. Like its commanding to just hump something rather than think about the circumstances. Like that's my only purpose in life or something. Do you know I can't even remember my neighbor's faces? All I see are like these blue stick figures coming out of the rooms every morning, and when I take one step out of my apartment, I'm straight at work, no questions asked! That ever happened to you?"

"Nope..."

Holly continues to her Solitaire game, only finishing two of the decks. After Hans finishes restocking the shelves, he manages to take himself out of the mascot suit, and throws in the storage closet, that is stuffed with a bunch of other bizarre looking stuff, and closes the door with the letters on the door spelling out 'Forgotten Ideas'.

"You know what? I'm gonna get to the bottom of this shit!"

He then dragged himself over to the desk where Holly was and took out the traveling phone, and started to fiddle with it. Holly looked up at him.

"You...uh...sure you want to keep messing with it? Weren't you just telling me you haven't figured it all out yet?"

"Yeah! I haven't! And I've had the damn thing for nearly a year and half! At least, I **feel** it's been a year and a half. But it could be forever how long it could be for!"

"So you've had it for a year and half, you've used it only three times, and you still don't know how it works?"

"That's what I just said Holly! Jesus pay attention!"

Her dumbfounded look then returned with a vengeance.

"How high did you say your I.Q. was again?"

"It's immeasurable! Why do you ask?"

She shook her head.

"No real reason..."

Hans then grabbed a jack screwdriver from the toolbox under the desk, even catching a glimpse of Holly's non-existent ass through her panty lines. He then started to take apart the cell phone to see what its actually composed of, and to figure out how to travel freely. After a few minutes of fiddling with its various compartments and systems, he got to the meat of the issue.

"Just a little tweak...there...and here...and one last...wow! Holy shit on stick! I think I figured it out! Holly! I think I know how this thing works, finally. After all this time! "

"Hooray..."

"Finally! I'll be able to visit a shit ton of babes that's waiting for me give it to 'em and show who they can catch these **Hans** from! HAHAHHAHAHA!"

Suddenly an awkward silence filled the air from the both of them.

"You know...cause...my name is Hans...and the saying is...you know...catch these **hands** so I thought...I could...you know...switch it around..."

"Yuuuppp...super funny..."

Hans started to get irritated with Holly's negativity.

"You know, if your father didn't have that restraining order against me, I would be on my way to making that movie happen with your mom. I already have the equipment in the cart, all I have to do is pay for it."

"Hmmm...just make sure I get the second copy..."

"You're damn right I will-wait... Who's getting the first copy?"

"Who do you think?"

"...You're fucking weird Holly."

"Coming from you? Taking that as a compliment."

"Does your boyfriend know this about you?"

"Which one, the weekly one or the monthly one?"

"Wow, I cannot judge on you on that regard. Anyway, time to do this thing!" Hans then put the phone back together and noticed the direct selection option on the screen pop up, then activated the phone's inter-dimensional travel function. Within seconds, a huge mass of energy formed within the store that formed into a portal, shining and giving off loads of kinetic energy. He took off his uniform, and approached the portal."Tell the boss I'm going on a fuck all spree across the multiverse!"

"He's not even in today, but whatevs. Be sure to use protection and all of that."

"No need! I already invented the cure for AIDS! Later!" He then hopped in the portal and proceeded through to the other world that he had selected beforehand. As he went clean through, the portal behind him closed, and massive wave of energy disappeared, and Holly was left alone with her game of solitare, which had finally finished all of the decks in the correct order.

"Hmm?" She then saw a tiny piece of something. By the look of it, it was a tiny screw of some kind."Did this come from...?"She pondered it for a little bit, and then threw the screw in the garbage."Ehh, probably won't be that bad."

 **A few hours later**

 **2 hours until New Years**

 **En route to Hans apartment.**

Amelia and Sam walked down the street with shopping bags carried in every hand. The snow filled streets were neatly filed to perfection, giving a clean street to walk down on. Noises could be heard from all of the houses down the street, ranging from party noises, to furniture being thrown around, people having the classic New Years eve fornication. The usual in their eyes.

Same began to admire some of the scenery of other peoples houses.

"Wow! I can't believe how many people have gone all out for New Years! I guess things aren't really that different no matter what dimension you go to huh?"Sam exclaimed.

"I would garner to assume yes. Though I'm rather unfamiliar with the term of New Years."Amelia said.

"Didn't you have holiday celebrations back on Monstressor?"

"We had something similar happen to what you celebrate on this...Christmas. As celebration for making successful voyages across the galaxy trails, we would shoot down the orbiting moons of Saturn and drink a beverage extracted from this creature known as a *insert Martian creature name here*, and we would continuosly drink from its under regions which is equivalent to one of your worlds strongest alcholic beverages, while reciting the tale of our forefathers and how they came to become settlers and then we play all sorts of leisurely activities."

"I...uh...see."

"It's quite enjoyable celebration for children."

"Wait! That's for kids? Then how did you celebrate with adults if I may ask?"

"There is none. The children mingle with the adults on such celebrations. They tone down the amount chlorohpyll and Martian ale in the drink, and then they engage in the same activities."

"That's...better?"

"If you'd like...I can take you and the others to ravel in the celebration sometime. They continue it for at least ten of your earth days."

"That sounds great...but aren't some circumstances surrounding that visit?"

Amelia's face snapped her fingers in discovery.

"Ah yes! I nearly forgot about dear Hans's infamy there. I have to wonder, how long has it exactly been since I went along with him to this world?"

" **Went?** Didn't you say he took you after he beat you in some kind of game?"

"Strongly encouraged was the word I would use. And it was such a swooning encouragment at that!" She then began to drift into her daydreams, with a blushed face and all."Never have I met a man that was so intellectually sound despite his rough and opaque shortcomings! He was so dashing how he made me his, and what was even better was how he managed out manuever my own men with my own ship at that! And the night we made love...ohhhh...such passion...such vigor and animality...The way he whipped and lashed at me with his enourmous and glorious member. Positively grand! I get goosebumps just thinking about even now! Nothing has even come close to that night!"

"Yeah, yeah. I get the picture. Passionate lovemaking and all of that. I get the same thing almost every Tuesday."

"Oh I sincerely doubt it my dear."

"How would you know? The last time we were all in the bed together was...it was..." Sam then stopped in her tracks and put her finger on her chin."It was...wow. That's bizarre."

"What is?"

"We've all had sex with Hans, but never at the same time before."

"Do you mean to say?"

"Yeah. We've never all had sex all at once not one time!"

Amelia's face drowned in shock.

"Well...that's proposterous! There was that time that...hang on...there was that time when..." She threw out several more instances in her head, but they all returned false and untrue. They then looked at eachother when faced with the horrifying truth. Hans and the girls had never once had a fivesome, in all of the time they've been living under the same roof.

Suddenly, both of them took off running towards the pharmaceutical store around the corner and bought up nearly all of the shelves of condoms and other stamina boosting drinks and other vitamin based foods. They placed all of the items on the counter all at once, out of breath from carrying these items as well as the bags they were holding from earlier, even skipping others already standing in line. Though none would exactly was going to object to two sexually frustrated women who knew how to snap a bone in several ways.

After the cashier fearfully ringed them up,they ran out of the store and straight back to the apartment.

 **Sometime later back at the apartments**

Sam and Amelia rushed through the door out of breath and various bags in hand. In front of them lied the sight of Tigress, Clover sitting nearly half naked with playing cards in their hands, and Alex fully naked dancing on the kitchen table, twerking while Hoochie mama by 2 Live Crew was playing on the stereo, with several bottles of Jack Daniels laying in the sink.

"What in goodnesses name is happening right now?!" Amelia yelled out.

Clover then drunkingly stumbled over to the two of them.

"Uhhh...so like...we can explain at least...a good quarter of what;s happening right now..."

Sam then grabbed her by her shoulders.

"There's no time to explain! Clover, make sure the lasagna is done in the oven, and Tigress, grab Alex and put her in the bedroom, and get out those birthday suits! We've got work to do girls!"

 **In another dimension**

 **Hans Perspective**

 **2 hours until New Years**

I honestly tell if I'm fucking a vibrator right now, or if my dick is being vibrated from the inside out, but I honestly not caring right now, and I'm certainly sure she isn't either. Doggy style isn't neccessarily the position I saw myself in with some robot named Jenny, but I have to say it's working out for the better so far. I slam into her backside multiple times, finding almost three different rhythms that I could work with. I decide to use the second one to my advantage as her back archs and her voice yearns out for more. Jesus, this is only the fifth world I've been to so far, and I'm hardly even tired! I gotta say, I thought a Mayan chick, that threesome with that thick Chinese ice lady and that gamer girl, that flexible superhero chick, the yellow jump suit turtle chick, and that pink haired chick with that wicked bass would tire me out by the time I could even reach the time limit. But I still feel ontop of my game, like I just took two hundred vitamin pills beforehand.

"Jeezzz...I'm already filled up..." Music to my ears fills it out as my member follows straight up through her...mechanical walls. While my dick tried to make sense of her insides, I started to feel up the cold exterior of her metal robotic skin, mainly around her chasis. I could her groan even more sharper as I focus around that area. I keep up the pace as my hands move all around her body, while her metallic ass cheeks flap all around my stomach. Jesus, this weird and awesome at the same time..."I'm not even sure my sensors could even take this kind of pleasure you know..." She says shyly.

"Yeah, but look at you babe." I pull her up from her upper body to show her exposed reflection in the mirror. My dick clearly shown as it thrusts violently in and out of her vag...you know what I'll just call it a pleasure center."You're barely legal, AND a sexy robot to boot...my favorite thing to show off to me. You were just asking for me walking around those daisy dukes that you call your leg parts girl..."

"My parts always adapt to the weather or the kind of situation that I'm...*moan* in..."

"Trust me...the situation that you're in...is realllll deep baby..." I said as I lovingly stroke her shiny metal ass, and continue to take her from the back, while at the same time giving her nice little robot breats some love.

"Ahhhh! More, more!"

Pretty soon she gives herself to the pleasure. I decide to fiddle around with her body by noticing some sensor switches over her arm reaching all the way down to her legs, with settings going all the way to ten. Naturally, I crank those sons of bitches all the way up to eleven and a half. My movements start to get faster as her voice becomes louder and louder. I press into her backside so much that her head ends up sinking into the pillows of her cute little bed, decorated with almost everything you would expect from a teen girls room, just with robot parts in it. "Yes! Yes! That's it! By the creator! Yes!"

Feeling daring, I start to play with her exposed chest. A set of pearly white sat within my hand filling it up to the brim, with my fingers going to work on the blue tangs that I'm dubbing her nipples."No! Not there! My oil! IT's coming out!"

Just as she screamed out, oil starts to leak out from her nipples. I swallow it as it pours into my mouth.

"Mmmmm! You're drinking my oil?! I thought that was poisonus to humans?!"

"As you could probably tell by now baby, I'm anything but ordinary." As I give her my sly talk, my mouth suctions up the liquid even harder, to which she could actually feel leaving her."

"Ahhh! Not so hard! That's nearly all of my oil!" The taste of her oil adds to my arousal, and I slam my hips into her ass even harder, so much so I can hear the noise you get when you bang two wrenches together, at the rhythm of the Pumpkin Hill song.

 **"** Hmmm!"

"Ahhh! You're...you're pounding me so hard! You're gonna make me cum Hans!"

I'm in the same boat, nearing my climax. We give ourselves over to the pleasure as the bed shakes and creaks away. I thrust even harder as I feel my nerves stand ontop of eachother for my last few strokes that I'll give her "I'm cumming!"

"Do it babe! I'll keep helping myself to this delicious mama's milk of yours!" I said as I continue to ram into her like a wild beast with her nipple still in my mouth. I near the end of my streak."Kuhhhh...Oh shit!"

"I'm cumming, I'm cumming, I'm cumming!" And just like that, I let loose a huge sploosh of my seed inside her pleasure center. Her opaque, yet warm interior shaped to my dick just perfectly, almost to the point where I thought she was made just for me. The very sensation of my cum sent into a climax mode all around.

Seeing as how she had no womb, most of my jizz just comes back out in buckets

"Hmmmmmm...ahhhhggghhhh!" Her pleasure cries nearly make me deaf as I spend a good minute and a half empyting everything I had in her

...

Once the wave of pleasure passess, I give her a second to rest against her bed, with my warm stuff still inside her. If she can still feel my dick inside of her after all of that, I gotta give props to the creator. As I pull my dick out, some of cum accidentally flies out

"XJ9! What is all of that racket your making?!" Suddenly the door flies open, and my cum lands smack dab on this short old lady in red glasses, perfectly on her face. She stood there dumbfounded, at the scene she was looking at currently. Next thing I knew, Jenny was on the bed completely wired out, with smoke rising from her head. Ahh, shit, did I go too far again?"XJ9?! You...heathen! What did you do to my daughter?!"

"Probably something she won't remember until she turns 18!" I then quickly grab my clothes and jump out of the window through the glass, buck naked and all. I then turn on the device, and a portal open up in midair to catch me during my fall. Setting the destination for home, I take a look at the clock on the watch, it was almost an hour till New Years, and I was even more than excited to get home to my soul suckers. As I fall through the rift, the device started to fizz and shock all around.

"What the hell is going on with this thing?! I thought I figured it out already!" As I tried to bang on it and try to tweak it out, the energy discharged on my hand, giving me a major shock."OWWWW HSITTTT!" In that moment I felt something in my body split into several pieces.

 **Later in Hans apartment**

 **An hour till New Years.**

I feel myself chuck through the portal through the window that I had just repaired not that long ago, although I can't even remember it breaking. I crashed down on the floor, and gave myself a second to get back up on my feet. I looked around to complete darkness. I reached out for the light switch with my right hand, and felt it touch something hard yet proportionate.

"Hey! Watch the ass sweetness!" I heard a voice sound off as I made contact, and quickly pulled my hand back.

"Oh shit! I'm so sorry!" Wait a minute...something about that voice sounded familiar. I turned on the flashlight for my cell phone, and saw the most weirdest sight when I shined it bright. ME?!

" _What the fuck?!"_ We both ended up saying simulataneously. I couldn't even make myself wonder if I was drunk or delirious. But I was seriously looking at myself in the flesh. Not an illusion, not a reflection. The real goddamn thing!

"Wait, there are two of me?!" I yelled out

"Not just two!"

I turned around, and saw three more mes emerge out of the darkness, all of them stark naked same as me, only for some reason looked even less handsome than the original. No bullshit of course.

"Wait a minute! How did this happen?" One of the mes asked.

"Stupid! It was when this idiot decided to fix the hell out of the device!" The other me chided me

"What are you talking about?! It works just fine now. I can control where I wanna go for one" I said. The original

"Well, clearly you had a success on your hands genius!"

"Hey man, why don't you kiss my ass!"

"Techninally, you would be kissing your own ass, so then no!"

"Wait, how would that even work to begin with?"

My head was beginning to split from all of this stupidness.

"You know what? I'm going in my room! I got my babes to see for the first fuck of the New Year!" I said.

"Hey they're my babes too you know!" The other me said.

"So are they!"

"ME too!"

"They're not property, you sexist asshole!"

"Technically, that makes us all sexists by you saying that."

"Oh would you guys shut the hell up already!" I try to hush them up as I open up bedroom door.

"Hey me first!" They all try to budge past me to get into the room first, leading for all of us try to fit into the door hinge at the same time, causing all of us to come crashing through. I then looked up, and saw one of the greatest sights on my bed since I stopped wetting the bed in high school.

It was Tigress, Amelia, Sam, Clover, and Alex, my leading ladies, my queens, my bombshell babes all dressed in birthday suits, with a huge banner held by all of them. Spelling out in huge letters,

HAPPY NEW YEAR HANS!

" _Welcome home Hans!"_ They all said at the same time, almost bringing a tear to my eye, and something even better to my nether regions. All of them looked as surprise as I was upon my discovery the first time.

"Wait...why are there...five Hans?" Alex asked worringly. "Am I THAT drunk?"

"Oh Hans dear. One of your escapades once more?" Amelia chuckled.

"You know me...never a dull moment!"

"I swear, you're incorrigible."

We then all stood there silence staring at the current situation. All of the mes and them naked. Five of me...five of them...one bed...

"So...anyone thinking what I'm thinking?" I asked.

"You read my mind!" The other me said.

"I have your mind stupid!"

"Hey Hans!" Sam then called out to me, well us, with all of the ladies with spread their pussies wide as far our eyes could see."There's only an hour until New Years...however will we pass the time?"

I took a long look at them, and then a look at myselves.

"I have a few ideas about that..."

"Hey uh...my line!"

I then suddenly hear someone elses voice in my room, and then see this dude in black speedos and pet wolverine with a gun sitting in my favorite chair. He then stood up and then took off his speedos and threw them at my face, brandishing his penis in my face! No no no!

"So uh...not to be a Freudian nut right now, but uhhh WAKE UP!"

...

* * *

Fro Ninja wakes up in a cold sweat looking around in his room, seeing everything in orderly place. He takes a deep breath, questioning everything that he dreamt about just now, and attempted to make sense of it all...

"What the hell...what the fuck?!" He then sees ton upon tons of story notes on his bed, makeshifting as a blanket. A certain note sheet catches his eyes. 'Hans and The New Year where Archer Suprise Butt rapes him while he's about to have a tensome with his energy clones and his harem' He then crumples the paper up and throws into the trash can."What the hell was I thinking? That's the last time I steal from my godbrother's secret stash." He then checks his phone clock and sees the date.

'January 1st 2017 12:05'

"Well, at least it was SOMEWHAT relevant." He then feels a mysterious presence by his bedside. He then sees Jester, staring at him with a blank expression and a boomstick and his covered in chocolate ice cream with eatable panties in his mouth

"Go back to sleep Fro."

"Okay..."

Fro Ninja quietly followed Jester's advice, and went straight back to sleep. Soon the light from his laptop turned off, with the room fading into darkness...

 **HAPPY NEW YEARS MY BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!**


End file.
